The Death Kitchen: Miami

Will and Ian Ferguson's "How To Be Canadian"

2008-06-12T17:44:36Z

On Sexual Perversions, and the Lack Thereof

What this country needs is a perversion it can call its own. A national fetish, if you will. (RoyalCommissions don't count.) Maybe we should all just move to Newfoundland. After all, in every national survey ever conducted, Newfoundlanders rank as having--far and away--the most sex of any Canadians. They also rank as the friendliest people in Canada. Why are they so friendly? Because they want to have sex with you.

Cha-Ching

2008-04-15T19:06:46Z

I really detest revision. I have no capacity for going over material that I didn't find interesting the first time. I don't understand how some people can sit for hours with their books and actually study. They must be faking it.
We need Matrix-style information transfer.

Ha!

2008-02-15T00:57:34Z

There was a great thing the paper this morning.

In the back of the Globe there is a section of facts and things called "Social Studies". There was one that said:
"It wouldn't be a festive day in Canada without some safety tips!" It then gave some advice about candles and stuff. I just thought it was really cute and accurate.

I Had Been Overestimating Myself

2008-01-22T21:52:45Z

So, I'm looking up so historical first names popularity and I am pleased to say that I have found a time when Martha was in the top ten most popular names! The 1700s!

Cleavage!

2008-01-18T01:07:01Z

Sit back and read about how Emma and I have an ancestor in the Canterbury Tales!

Here, we see the list of people that the Physician has studied (in some capacity):

"Wel knew he the olde Esculapius,
And Deyscorides and eek Rufus,
Olde Ypocras, Haly, and Galyen,
Serapioun, Razis, and Avycen,
Averrois, Damascien, and Constantyn,
Bernard, and Gatesden, and Gilbertyn."

That's the Middle English, of course.
In my copy of the Tales (The Broadview Anthology) there is a annotation that explains who all these people are:
Gatesden is John Gaddesden (d. c. 1346) who was a court doctor to Edward II. Perhaps you can already see the similarity between "Gaddesden" and "Carscadden". I mean, that's essentially where I'm getting this from.

Here's a list of Carscadden name variations: Kiscadden, Gerscadden, Gearscadden, Kearscadden, Gorscadden, Corscadden, Kirkadden, Carcaden... blah, blah, blah. The root is Scaden, is my point.

So, are you convinced? I am.

Low Batteries

2008-01-08T00:03:18Z

My English professors this term are office buddies. They were both bitching about how the English Dept. wouldn't spring for answering machines on their phones lines in class. In the process of that my second prof mentioned that if we went to her office and we saw a "werid Lorcan" in there not to worry because they are office mates. Lorcan is my first prof! Now I know that they complain about not having an answering machine together. I find this cute.

I Got You!

2007-12-04T05:15:57Z

Here - I took it again and this time he can't be changed! Haha! Except his name is different and I like it less, but that is fine. I wish we really did have daemons. That would be so sweet.

Happy Holidays to Me!

2007-12-03T18:56:28Z

I've requested the function wherein you can decide if this is accurate of me, but keep in mind:
I am so down with this! Don't I always say that if I was an animal I would be a fox? I totally do.

Headlines!

2007-12-03T07:00:45Z

I just got home from the Spice Girls concert. It was sweet as fuck! Just amazing.

I cried. There, I said it. There was one point when they were just standing there for a few beats before they sang "Mama" and I cried my eyes out (all the way to the end of the song).

Only a few questionable parts. They sang a bunch of non-Spice songs. Like, "Celebrate Good Times" and "We are Family" in a little medly part and I was not too down with that. I just couldn't help thinking about all of their own songs that they didn't sing that would have been cooler.
There is an exception to this criticism. All the girls did their own individual song and by and larger those were good. Geri sang "It's Raining Men" and Mel C sang her new single.
It should be noted that Victoria didn't sing in her individual part. In fact she didn't sing nearly as much as everyone else. And she is stiff as a board. I forgive her though because she's hilarious about it.

Displaying Signs of Triviality.

2007-11-06T23:09:29Z

I've been making lots of changes to my schedule for next term. I'm trying to actually get on track toward this whole "graduating" thing that everyone keeps talking about.

I went out to the Surrey Passport office this morning. My Uncle John, who is currently living in Pentictionn (where there is no office) but works in Yemen, needed me to go pick up his new passport. That was great. I don't think I've ever been that far on the Skytrain before. Somehow I don't think that I was missing anything.
More shocking, however, than the one hour ride was the lines at the office! Holy shit. For those people actually getting passports (as opposed to picking them up) there were three different lines to wait in. One outside the tower, one in the elevator lobby of the office, and another (much larger) one in the office itself. Jesus, was I glad when I realized that I got to bypass all those lines. What a awful expeience that must be. Makes me think that I should renew my passport the slow way now so that if I need it I won't have to go through that.

Watching Kids Cook is Bunk

2007-11-01T18:38:42Z

I did a little less than half of the Bhangra workout on Channel M this morning. Jesus Christ. I am so out of shape.

Hm. How Did I Accquit Myself There?

2007-10-08T04:38:37Z

I've heard it said that many people like Thanksgiving best because it is just a holiday about dinner. And yeah, that's cool. But at the same time when it's over (like all the other dinners that come on every other night) it sure doesn't seem like anything worth getting excited over.

Trials

2007-09-25T20:50:46Z

I'm starting to think that Barbarella is never wearing enough clothing for me to go as her for Halloween.

Rest in Peace

2007-09-17T18:38:44Z

Robert Jordan has passed away. It's so sad. Just last week there was an update saying that all the rumours that he passed away were false. It did say, however, that he had sat down and told his wife and cousin everything (as in the end of the Wheel of Time series) which he had never done for anyone else before. That was forbodding about that.

Oh, I hope (in the dorkiest way possible) that he gets to go to heaven that is Randland and hangout with all this cool little world.

The Wrong Shoes

2007-09-05T23:44:50Z

Ha! I dropped Medieval Studies 301.

I Found Plagarism in the Newspaper This Morning.

2007-09-04T18:10:23Z

I am not at school today.

That's an awesome first day of school, init?

Also, in a more literal way than usual, the Subject of this post is true. The essay in the Facts & Arguments section of the Globe this morning was something I had seen before.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20070904.FACTS04/TPStory/?query=facts+and+arguments

http://snopes.com/college/homework/writing.asp

I emailed them. We'll wait and see what sort of response it gets.

My Grandmother Didn't Like "Deadwood"

2007-08-30T17:58:39Z

This is my last day of work. Work, work, work.

I think I will win the Set For Life lottery. That would set me up quite well. I will pay for my tutions and move out. Take a liberal amount of trips. And I imagine that it would be enough money to keep me well stocked with snoody food despite my general unemployment.

Ruby's very pertrubed by the fireworks at the PNE. She tried to get into my room last night and "sleep" under my bed, but I baracaded the door! That didn't stop her from trying, and it made me feel guilty but it really was for the best. She eventually stopped scratching and wining at my door and went and slept somewhere upstairs. I locked the door to Grandma's room so it wasn't in there.
Though, she got in early yesterday and made a best out of the pillows and blankets. It was ingenious of her, really. And terrinly cute. The skills of bed-making that Emma and I possess will not be enough to hide this from Irene, though.

Paper Cuts Be Damned!

2007-08-27T17:11:58Z

I am happy to announce that in the most unexpected of fashions I got a seat in Medieval Studies 301! After finding already full on my registration date I dispared because this, perhaps, was the course for which I was most excited. I peroidically checked back to see if anyone had dropped it but to no avail.
And then! yesterday while I was checking out my book lists and looking at me schedule I clicked "Register Selection" for, I suppose, old times sake. And it worked! It worked! I am in!
I am terribly pleased. Not only do I get to take this cool class (which is a surbey of literature in Europe from the 5th to 13th centuaries) but it also means that I avoid having two hours on campus with nothing to do! Truly this is the "beth" of both worlds... (that was for you Emma, if you already read Dinosaur Comics for today.)

Toast!

2007-08-20T16:38:29Z

I had some sort of great thing to write about this morning. I was forming it on the way to work, but now I am here and I can't remember for the life of me what it was.

However, I have thought of a good house warming gift for Teresa. I think it would quite a hit. Which only means I must think of something equally cool, if slightly smaller, for Katherine and Shade's hot re-heating.

Phantasmagorical

2007-08-13T18:31:32Z

I wore a new pair of shoes to my exam on Saturday. They are beautiful and they make the most satisfying clip-clop sounds. They don't even hurt my ankles.

However, I decided to walk home from Broadway because I shouldn't be so goddamned lazy. And I did. I skinned the TOPS OF MY TOES in my new shoes. The tops of my toes! I can hardly credit it. And now I can't wear shoes that cover my toes, which is pretty much all shoes.

Ten Years Down the Road.

2007-08-10T17:42:54Z

Only had one big fight, and one smaller, with Emma over the family reunion. So, I would say it turned out well.

Oh, Sinners, Let's Go Down

2007-07-30T20:56:08Z

I have to do all my packing tonight because Dad is going to pick me up right after work tomorrow. That's why I so wisely did all of my laundry yesterday.

Leting Go, Finally

2007-07-25T20:16:29Z

Andy LeMaster is gay too!
It doesn't really matter, of course, but why are all these dudes who I like in a sort of fringe way ending up to be gay? What's the deal with that?

I Won't Spoil You

2007-07-24T20:26:21Z

I was just doing some research for my last WMST 300 paper. I was looking at a sex workers adcovacy site and I more or less accidenly opened a window that had very naked dude pictures in it! Oops.

The End of All Things

2007-07-23T17:51:27Z

I don't want to release spoilers into the world, not yet, not this soon. So:

Voldemort could not stop the rock. Man, I can't believe it's over, and moreover, I can't believe that's it's over and that I'm not completely devistated. I feel good, and rather fulfilled and that is the best, isn't it?
I don't think I need to list the butcher's bill here. You could probably get there anywhere now.
So, what should I say? Hm.
I didn't love the epilogue, but that's okay, ultimately. The end of the book proper, that I liked. Oh, yes. For me, that would have been fine.
Also, I can't believe how consistantly wrong I was about so many things. But I think that was for the best too, my own intellect didn't spoil it for me.

It took my fourteen hours to finish. It arrived at 10:30 am, and Emma and I started at the same time but I slowly managed to lap her. It was pretty awesome. Almost immediately I was ten pages ahead, and then thirty, and then 50. And then, by the time I finised, I was nearly 250 pages ahead of her. I feel okay saying that I do read more quickly than the average person (which before I tended to deny).